Monday 5 August 2013

Inguinal Crease

The Money Maker
Let me introduce you to the newest "Gotta Have It" muscle...which isn't a muscle at all.  It goes by many names (Love-Line, Marky's Mark, Adonis Muscle...) but is properly called the "Inguinal Crease".  Its actually connective tissue.  It becomes visible when body fat gets low.  Genetics will ultimately determine how much it pops but you won't know until you really try.

Own the Beach

Be the reason that boyfriends suddenly yank their honeys off the beach.  "Hey - my eyes are up here sweetheart!  LOL".  The crease takes hard work and discipline.  Those are the two essential ingredients.

Hard Work

Knees to Elbows


Knees to Elbows is a great abdominal exercise.  Hang from a bar.  Pull your knees up to touch your elbows.  Very intense and very effective.  Go for your max number of reps and strive to add one more rep each week.

Low Plank Leg Raise

Adopt the Low Plank position.


Now...raise one leg.  Then lower it and raise the other leg.
Low Plank Leg Raise is an excellent core workout which will hit the lower abs.  Holding the Low Plank position is tough but then lifting a leg will freak your core out.  Go for a total of ten each side.
 
Side Plank
Side Plank is nasty; so you know its good!  Lay on your side like you're about to read a good magazine.  Now lift your whole body off the floor.  Hold it for a second.  Relax back down and then repeat.  This exercise works your obliques - the core muscles at the sides of your waist.
 
Tummy Suck
 
The girl in the photo is probably doing a yoga pose called Cat but its still a good picture for describing an exercise I call Tummy Suck.  Get on your hands and knees and then pretend that you're trying to touch your spine with your belly-button.  If you feel a little sick to the stomach - you're doing it right.  This exercise works a muscle called Transverse Abdominis.  This muscle holds your guts in place and is key to developing the "Adonis Muscle".  This exercise will evoke memories of dry-heaving during your last bout with undercooked fiddleheads.  Do ten good hard Tummy Sucks at the end of your ab workout.
 
Discipline
 
The Enemy
 
You must carefully consider everything you stuff into your gob if you hope to dazzle your wife/GF with your scintillating "Love-Line".  You have to eat super-clean.  You need to get your body fat levels down to about 7%.  Here is what you should eat:
 
Breakfast
 
Oatmeal is great for breakfast.  Slow-burning complex carbs to power you through the morning.  Its not that tasty but who cares?  It'll be worth it when you smirk into the mirror with smug satisfaction as the crease appears.
 
Morning Snack
Eat a piece of fruit for your mid-morning snack.  For example...bananas or...kiwis. 
 
Lunch
 
Re-fry a couple of small juicy pieces of steak in a cast-iron pan with some tomato and maybe sprinkle with cayenne.  Protein, iron, vitamins, flavour.
 
Mid-Afternoon Snack
 
Have a handful of blueberries.  Or raspberries etc.  But...nothing that comes in a bag that crinkles or contains ingredients that your children can't pronounce.
 
Supper
Treat yourself to a nice grilled chicken breast for supper.  If it tastes dry and boring...sprinkle lemon juice on it.  Have some spinach and kale on the side.  Drink lots of water with supper.
 
Evening Snack
 
If you absolutely must nibble in the evening...try sunflower seeds.  These little beasts contain healthy fats and fibre.  Way better than chips or cookies.
 
Tom
 
Hate Me Now - Thank Me Later
 

2 comments:

  1. "...if you hope to dazzle your wife/GF with your scintillating "Love-Line".
    Why on earth are you assuming your readers are all straight?

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  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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